Strength, crisis, faith...

A few months ago I put together a retreat for the ladies at our church. The theme was "Sacred Heart: ...God is the strength of my heart. Psalm 73:26". Little did I know what that really meant until now.

It's interesting how sometimes it takes a crisis in order to really feel God and see him. I have seen him perform many miracles in my journey but never this personal. He truly is the strength of my heart.

After experiencing the pain I have this week, I only got a minute touch of what Christ feels every single moment because of what his people are doing.

Even all those months ago... he knew exactly what was going to happen this week. He was preparing me then as he was a year ago as he is now. He is absolutely amazing... so much so that while my heart is breaking it is also bursting with his love and joy.

I pray that through all of this I am a stronger person because of him. I pray that I have more compassion for people. I pray that his will be done...

Less than 1 month to go...

I can't believe in a month from now, I will be in Ecuador. I am excited, nervous, scared, unsure, etc. I know that this is what God has been planning for me. It's just hard to believe that is is going to happen.

There is so much to do in the meantime. Everything from makes lists of things to bring, to packing the things we need to bring, to making sure all of our funds come in, memorizing scripture, daily devotionals, etc. At times I am completely overwhelmed with all that needs to be done.

But I know that I have a God who is in this with me. He will give me the words I need, the rest I need and the strength I need... I just need to look to him at all times...

I have a new favorite song... "Times" by Tenth Avenue North

It is one of those songs that just speaks to me.

It starts out him singing to God about being afraid to tell him of the things that he has done. About knowing he needs to love God. About needing to feel him. Oh how I feel this way!

Then it switches to him talking about God's love is everywhere.

Then it switches again to God singing to him. Just what I need to hear.

It is just powerful.

If you want to listen to it you can click here to go to Tenth Avenue North's site.

Here are the lyrics...

I know I need You
I need to love You
I love to see You, but it's been so long
I long to feel You
I feel this need for You
And I need to hear You, is that so wrong?

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Now You pull me near You
When we're close, I fear You
Still I'm afraid to tell You, all that I've done
Are You done forgiving?
Oh can You look past my pretending?
Lord, I'm so tired of defending, what I've become
What have I become?

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

I hear You say,
"My love is over. It's underneath.
It's inside. It's in between.
The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.
The times that you question, 'Is this for real? '
The times you're broken.
The times that you mend.
The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.
Well, My love is over, it's underneath.
It's inside, it's in between.
These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.
The times you're hurting.
The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.
I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I'm there through your heartache.
I'm there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.
I don't care where you fall, where you have been.
I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.
It never ends."

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Darkness

As I sit here and wait for the "storm of the century" I am contemplating what today is.

Good Friday

I always thought that was an interesting name for what it means. Today our Lord and Savior was put to death on the cross me us, for me. I am that worth it that he died a painful and humiliating death for me.

The earth became dark and the curtain tore in two.

I can't imagine what the people felt when that happened. I can't not fathom what God felt... he must have felt his heart ripping in two! But he did this for us so that we could have a relationship with him!

How fitting that it's dark and dreary today. We're expecting a windstorm that is unusual for this time of year. It could cause us to lose power.... just like those many years ago....

Sunday can't come quick enough!

Princess...

I came across this shirt at JC Penney's while waiting to pick Emma up from Awana.


The sad part is that I came across it in the girls section of JC Penney's... little girls. Not teens, not adults but little girls.

I just came home from teaching women that they are God's princesses! He loves us to much and wants to show us his love. We are all his princesses full of his love!

There were women there in their 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond who still have a hard time believing that they are his princess. That his love for us is immeasurable!

Well I wonder why women don't feel loved?!? These ladies didn't have these types of shirts when they were kids... but OUR girls do! Why in the world would you want your little girl to wear something like this?!? I understand that the movie was popular and is supposed to be good. But not for a SEVEN year old or even a TEN year old!!

If these are the messages our girls are receiving now... I can not fathom the wounds they will be dealing with when they are in their 30s, 40s, 50s, etc...

Lord I pray that you help me show my daughter that she is YOUR PRINCESS! I pray that she never ever ever wants to be a vampire rather than a princess!!!

Lost for words...

I knew God would show up at our retreat... I just didn't realize just how much he would show up! I am at a lost for words for what happened over the weekend.

These ladies have been set free. Some of them have been working on their recovery through CR for years and were set free over the weekend. It just blows me away.

The Lord is so good and faithful. I went into the weekend scared that these ladies were going to think it was all crazy. I figured a lot of them wouldn't come back, would go off shopping. They not only came back but they wanted more.

There is so much more yet to come... There is an unstoppable change that has just been unleashed in the lives of these women in our church... I can't wait to see what is next...

What is the point...

For several months I've been planning a Women's Retreat for our church. It's been months in the making actually years, God knew the plan all along. For the last few months I've been trying to explain what the retreat is about. How to explain it in just a few sentences without going through each session.

Well the retreat is next week. And it started to stress me a little not being able to articulate it. The other night I got to bed pretty late after getting home late. All of the sudden God gave me the words. I wasn't even thinking about it at the time!

"We are designed for relationship with one another. God knew it wasn't good for Adam to be alone. But until you allow God to access your heart, you cannot make yourself available to others. He wants to give you a full and abundant life but he needs your heart to be touched before that process can begin."

That is it in a nutshell... Less than one week to go! I'm so excited to see what God has in store!