Teaching how to be a wife...

As a parent my job is to teach my child the rights & wrongs of life. I am responsible for her to have a good education, learn her manners, help her build a relationship with the Lord and more. These are all the givens, the expectations but what about teaching her to be a woman. Or a good wife. Or a good mom.

The other day Emma & I were watching TV. A picture of President Obama boarding Air Force One came on the channel we were watching. Emma saw that and said "I want to be the President so she could have Air Force One. But a moment later she said to me...

"I want to be the President's wife."

I asked "Why?"

She responded "Because then I can plan the parties, have the whole White House AND use Air Force One!"

I thought that was awesome! You see because I don't see it as her just wanting to be the President's wife. I see her as wanting to be the life-giver to the nation! To her husband and family!

When God created Adam he said it wasn't good for man to be alone. So he created Eve. He called her an ezer kenegdo. This word translates into help meet. Eve was also the crescendo! She was the finishing touch to a world that was not complete.

As women we are the ezer kenegdo of the world. We are the ones who bring beauty to the world around us. We bring beauty to our homes, our bodies and our relationships.

As a mom, I want to teach Emma that she can do anything that she puts her mind to. This is one of the reasons why we homeschool. But there is so much more than making sure she is supported in her education so that she can grow up to be what she wants. It is my responsibility to teach her to be a woman. Part of that includes teaching her how to be a good wife.

So how do I do this? When I began to think about this, it was daunting to me to figure out how to do this. Yet as I began to pray about it, God revealed to me that I already am doing this. I do it in the way that I treat Robert. The things that I say to him in the good and bad times. Because our children see so much more than we give them credit for. He revealed to me that I am not alone and I don't need to figure it out. He is the great teacher!

As a daughter of divorced parents this isn't exactly easy. Even before my parents' divorce, their relationship was highly dysfunctional. I have had to learn as I go, making mistakes along the way. Thankfully the Lord has been there with me every step of the way covering it all in grace and love.

He has also blessed me with amazing friends who have strong marriages and who are actively working to make them better. (This is another example of community and why we need each other. Another reason for transparency, love, grace and forgiveness.)

So in the days, months and years to come there will be many more lessons for Emma to learn. I pray that God gives me the wisdom to give her the tools and lessons to be the wife that he wants her to be. I have the assurance that when she leaves our home, he will take her by the hand and guide her just as he has me. Because "he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

Guess who is divorcing...

"Yeah can you believe it? No, they seemed so happy. Everything seemed so good."

These are words that I hope to not say. Not just because I don't want to see people divorce, but because I don't want to have shallow relationships where it catches me off guard.

Peter tells us in to "love one another deeply, from the heart." 1 Peter 1:22. We are created to have intimate relationships with one another. This means realness, transparency and honesty with one another. If we have relationships that are transparent and real then we shouldn't be surprised when someone says they are getting a divorce. We should have noticed signs or heard the warnings.

These types of relationships may not prevent divorces. But if we are encouraging perseverance and lifting one another up in prayer then maybe they may lessen the chances of divorce. Someone to carry us through the tough times, to be devoted to one another in love.

God is the creator of relationships. He loves us to much that he sent Jesus here to heal the brokenhearted, to set the captives free. He desires relationship and closeness with us. He desires to see us healed and free.

Marriage may be hard at times but God is bigger than any problem that could occur in a marriage. He is the ultimate healer and miracle performer. He also brings people into our lives to help us along the road. We just need to be real, transparent and honest with one another. In return they are to love us, encourage us when the road gets tough.