Teaching how to be a wife...

As a parent my job is to teach my child the rights & wrongs of life. I am responsible for her to have a good education, learn her manners, help her build a relationship with the Lord and more. These are all the givens, the expectations but what about teaching her to be a woman. Or a good wife. Or a good mom.

The other day Emma & I were watching TV. A picture of President Obama boarding Air Force One came on the channel we were watching. Emma saw that and said "I want to be the President so she could have Air Force One. But a moment later she said to me...

"I want to be the President's wife."

I asked "Why?"

She responded "Because then I can plan the parties, have the whole White House AND use Air Force One!"

I thought that was awesome! You see because I don't see it as her just wanting to be the President's wife. I see her as wanting to be the life-giver to the nation! To her husband and family!

When God created Adam he said it wasn't good for man to be alone. So he created Eve. He called her an ezer kenegdo. This word translates into help meet. Eve was also the crescendo! She was the finishing touch to a world that was not complete.

As women we are the ezer kenegdo of the world. We are the ones who bring beauty to the world around us. We bring beauty to our homes, our bodies and our relationships.

As a mom, I want to teach Emma that she can do anything that she puts her mind to. This is one of the reasons why we homeschool. But there is so much more than making sure she is supported in her education so that she can grow up to be what she wants. It is my responsibility to teach her to be a woman. Part of that includes teaching her how to be a good wife.

So how do I do this? When I began to think about this, it was daunting to me to figure out how to do this. Yet as I began to pray about it, God revealed to me that I already am doing this. I do it in the way that I treat Robert. The things that I say to him in the good and bad times. Because our children see so much more than we give them credit for. He revealed to me that I am not alone and I don't need to figure it out. He is the great teacher!

As a daughter of divorced parents this isn't exactly easy. Even before my parents' divorce, their relationship was highly dysfunctional. I have had to learn as I go, making mistakes along the way. Thankfully the Lord has been there with me every step of the way covering it all in grace and love.

He has also blessed me with amazing friends who have strong marriages and who are actively working to make them better. (This is another example of community and why we need each other. Another reason for transparency, love, grace and forgiveness.)

So in the days, months and years to come there will be many more lessons for Emma to learn. I pray that God gives me the wisdom to give her the tools and lessons to be the wife that he wants her to be. I have the assurance that when she leaves our home, he will take her by the hand and guide her just as he has me. Because "he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

Guess who is divorcing...

"Yeah can you believe it? No, they seemed so happy. Everything seemed so good."

These are words that I hope to not say. Not just because I don't want to see people divorce, but because I don't want to have shallow relationships where it catches me off guard.

Peter tells us in to "love one another deeply, from the heart." 1 Peter 1:22. We are created to have intimate relationships with one another. This means realness, transparency and honesty with one another. If we have relationships that are transparent and real then we shouldn't be surprised when someone says they are getting a divorce. We should have noticed signs or heard the warnings.

These types of relationships may not prevent divorces. But if we are encouraging perseverance and lifting one another up in prayer then maybe they may lessen the chances of divorce. Someone to carry us through the tough times, to be devoted to one another in love.

God is the creator of relationships. He loves us to much that he sent Jesus here to heal the brokenhearted, to set the captives free. He desires relationship and closeness with us. He desires to see us healed and free.

Marriage may be hard at times but God is bigger than any problem that could occur in a marriage. He is the ultimate healer and miracle performer. He also brings people into our lives to help us along the road. We just need to be real, transparent and honest with one another. In return they are to love us, encourage us when the road gets tough.

Desires

As I look out the window of my living room, I feel a sense of gloom. My rhododendron bush is starting to bud. The tulips are starting to push through the surface too. Spring is just around the corner yet it makes me sad. Some may think that is crazy. Don't get me wrong, I will welcome the sun after a wet and gloomy winter. But I wanted more...

I wanted snow.

"They" said there would be snow, more than normal. We hardly got any! All we got is rain and more rain. We didn't even have any cool windstorms either!

I wanted snow... it is my heart's desire... It's what I long for and miss. I grew up with snow, lots of it. I miss the freshness of it, the brilliance of it, the quietness of it.

Here all we have is green. Some people like green but I like white. Pure white snow. It's like a blanket that covers all the ick and dead of winter. Just like Jesus covers us in pure white.

So this weekend we're headed up to the mountains. Hopefully we'll find some there but it isn't looking too great.

But I'm praying for it... praying that God fills my heart's desires...

A Toilet... really?

A friend of mines cousin received a toilet for her birthday this year. Yes seriously. Apparently her 5 yr old son picked it out for her. While I am sure that her husband and kids thought it was innocent and funny, deep down I don't think she did.

How does a toilet say you are loved deeply and worth it to us? Is DOESN'T!

As women we want to know that we are deeply loved and oh so worth it to people. We want to know that we are valued, that we mean more than a toilet. It is the essence of who we are as women.

God made us to bring beauty to the world. He made our hearts to yearn for love and romance. Now this doesn't mean that she needed chocolates, roses, a limo ride to the Space Needle necessarily. But it does mean she needed something that would speak to her.

I have friend whose birthday is Monday. For her birthday she spent the day at the Seattle Aquarium with her husband and kids. Then they went to a special dinner in Seattle. She wanted to be surrounded by the people she loves most. That is what spoke to her, it was her desire.

Another friend of mine went away to the ocean last weekend with her family. Also being surrounded by her family speaks to her. She also loves being at the ocean, it is what speaks to her, it was her desire.

There are so many different things that speak to each of us. God made us each unique. We all have our own hearts desires, our own things that speak just to us.

If these desires aren't met then things can get wonky. We tend to try to fill them with things that may not be so healthy. Or we may deny them and act like we're fine. But this isn't the way we were designed.

Jesus wants to "give us the desires of our heart" Psalm 37:4. When we delight him him, when we have a relationship with him, he wants to give us our desires. It's how he made us as women! It's how we bring beauty to the world!

I have some of my own desires that I have been pondering lately. (More to come on that)

But I ask you...

what are your heart's desires?

How are they being met?

Are they being met?

If not, why?

How does that feel?

What do you think Jesus would think of that?

A covering kind of love...

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
1 Peter 4:8

Love covers all...

"God so loved the world that he sent his one and only begotten son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."
John 3:16

Love saves...

I have experienced both of these. I know that I am loved by God so much that he sent his only son to die for me. But in the last year I have lived them in ways that I never could have imagined.

Love covered sins committed against me. Love saved relationships. Love kept me whole.

Once again love covered all and saved someone I love...

I have a friend who struggles with some pretty heavy stuff. She goes through periods where she has harmed herself several times. I have gone through several periods with her when she is in this dark place. It is scary and frustrating to watch her experience such torment and know that she is worth so much more than what she is feeling.

This time I handled it differently because of what I have experienced in the last year.

I loved her. I told her that I loved her over and over. I told her that she was believing lies... that she was worth more than how she was feeling. I kept telling her that I loved her even when she called me "Tweedledum".

I just loved her like I am loved by the King. Just like he loves me... even in my darkness... even when I tell him I hate him.... even when I sin.

And because of love... she didn't hurt herself. God covered her in his love and saved her from hurting herself.

And I was blessed to be a witness to his glorious love and amazing power!

Love works. When it's just love... no hidden agendas, no walls, no opinions of what needs to be done, no judgment... just love.

God's love.

It's only because of Jesus am I able to love. He pours his love into me so that I can pour it out onto others. All I have to do is receive... I don't have to work for it. Just receive it as the gift that it is.

Love... it's that simple but so powerful.

Beauty

Beauty is the essence of a woman. God created us to bring beauty to the world. Unfortunately the world has twisted what this is supposed to mean but that is for another post!

Being the mom to a girl has it's own challenges... especially one that is just like me... Emotionally Expressive.

Emma used to be a girl who loved dresses and dressing up. For a couple of years she had enough holiday dresses to wear a different one each Sunday in December as well as on Christmas Eve! But as she has grown, she has moved away from dresses and is developing her own sense of style... and it doesn't involve dresses.

The other morning she was having a melt down because she didn't have anything to wear to church. Robert was patiently "forcing" her to wear a dress. (That was what she said... "Daddy is forcing me to wear a dress... boohoohoo!" I was getting ready myself and having a hard time trying to find something to wear. I could feel irritation rising up in me. What a way to start the day!

So I prayed. I prayed hard for God to reveal to me the truth and give me the words to speak....

and he did.

That is when I realized she was feeling the same thing I was...

not beautiful.

God created us to bring beauty to this world. He created us to feel beautiful. He created us to BE beauty!

So when we are struggling with looking and feeling beautiful... it's so hard. It's hard see the truth.. that we ARE beauty!

I went in her room to help. In the past I would have probably yelled and told her just to get ready and put something on because we needed to go! Now! What a way to get ready for church!

But this time I allowed God to use me...

I explained to her how I was also struggling with trying to find something to wear. I was struggling to feel good because I didn't feel good in any of the clothes I had picked.

That is when she got it. She realized that was how she was feeling too!

So we were able to find her something to wear where she felt good. And it wasn't a dress. We made it to church on time and she felt good!

Later on we celebrated our victory by going shopping and buying her a few more things so that she can feel beautiful!

Satan didn't win this battle because Jesus fought for our beauty and WON!

Furious Love

Have you witnessed God's furious love? What is furious love?

As I look back over my own live, I realize that I have. He had a plan for me from the beginning and never gave up on that plan.

Even when I turned my back on him.

Even when I choose to believe anything other than him.

Even when I told him that I hated him....

He never gave up on me.

He loves me so much that...

He moved me to WA to marry the man he wanted me to spend the rest of my life with...

He gave me a beautiful daughter that I didn't know I wanted...

He placed me at the Beth Moore conference years ago where I not only got to meet Beth Moore... but I accepted Jesus there....

He brought women into my life to teach me who he was. To teach me that I can be who I am and still love the Lord. I don't have to look a certain way or to act a certain way....

He made a way for me to attend a retreat in Colorado last year that changed my life forever...

He also...

allowed circumstances in my life that have been more painful and heart wrenching then I could ever imagine... but...

He also made sure I knew that he was with me through all of it.

He brought some of the most unlikely people into my life. People whom I may never be able to have a relationship if it wasn't for him and his furious love.

He has changed me in ways that I can not imagine or explain.

He loves me that much.

And will continue to love me...

even if I tell him that I hate him....

even when I put other things or people before him...

He will never stop loving me....

or you.