Love & War - Couples Devotional

I recently joined WaterBrook Multnomah's 'Blogging For Books' program. My first book that I received was "Love and War Couples Devotional". I loved it!

This book is a must have for all couples. It is an easy, practical and down to earth devotional for couples. I appreciate how John & Stasi are real... right off the bat they talk about how marriage is hard. It is hard, no denying that! However they lead you through devotionals and prayers that give you hope. They write in a way where you know that they aren't just blowing Christian smoke. They write in a way where they understand because they've been in the trenches with you.

The daily readings are not too long, only about a page or so. I appreciate this since we don't always have time to sit a read or discuss several pages. At the end of every 5 days, there are a couple of questions or practical ideas they suggest. They are easy and powerful at the same time.

Overall, a great devotional for every couple no matter how long they are married! I would definitely recommend this book!

Intentionalism vs. Facebook (again)

I have a couple of disclaimers that I need to post first...

First - These are just my thoughts and opinions today of where I am at. Please don't read more into this than what I am saying.

Second - I do not like Facebook. I have posted the reasons already in a previous post. I think that it fosters shallow relationships that are not real. I could go on with additional reasons of my dislike for Facebook but that is for another post.

Ok now on to my actual post...

Today is my birthday. I wouldn't say that it's the best birthday I've ever had. My dad had open heart surgery yesterday. I wish that I would have gone to be there with him. My friend's grandma who I used to be close to died yesterday too. This is the 4th person to die on or around my birthday. My daughter slept over at a friend's house last night and I had to go pick her up early since there were some issues. On the way home, she had a melt down and screamed that she hated me. Which then resulted in a total family meltdown. Nice.

So needless to say, I am struggling a bit today.

But I am struggling with something else. I realized that last year on my birthday, I was at a retreat that I put together. I was surrounded by 70 or so women. It was an amazing and life changing weekend for so many, including me. Several of these women not only told me happy birthday but gave me cards, gifts and love. I also got to be part of so many womens lives changed because of it.

I also realized that last year I had a Facebook account. I remember logging on and seeing several of my "friends" post Happy Birthday on my wall. It made me feel loved and special.

But this year that didn't happen. I don't have Facebook anymore. I dropped it and am happy that I did. I also am at home spending time with my family. Which has been great for the post part. We have had a rough year so it's good to spend time together.

But what I started thinking about is how I missed all the Happy Birthdays. As a women, one of my core desires is to know that I am worth it and lovely. It's how God designed me as a woman.

I also thought again of how shallow Facebook is. It's easy to post Happy Birthday on someone's page when you log in and it reminds you that it's so&so's birthday. But is that intentional? Wouldn't it be more intentional to call someone and let them know you were thinking about them and wanted to wish them a Happy Birthday? Or even email them? Or text? At least it's a more intentional because you aren't seeing all the posts that other people have posted and then realize that you need to as well. Also no one is prompting you to do it.

It just seems so many people are living with false intimacy and relationships. They don't want to be real with one another because what if they are judged? What if the other person realizes that you aren't perfect? What if they see themselves in you?

But I don't want to live that way. I want to live from who I am. I am not perfect. I have made mistakes, especially in relationships. I want to live a life of intentionality, realness and intimacy. I want to live as the woman that God made. He made me with desires, dreams and apparently a love language.

I have recently realized that my love language is words of encouragement and quality time. I'm not sure what that means quite yet. But I realized that when my dad told my sister to tell me happy birthday only moments after having the ventilator removed... it moved me beyond words, only tears fell. I realized that he loved me beyond the pain that he was in.

In my journey, I have realized that I need to look first and foremost for love in my heavenly Father. When I look to him to fill me with his love, my other relationships fall into place. So I continued to look to God for my love... for the words that I need... and for the time. I also continue to pray for real, intimate relationships.

I also look to him to help me with my desires. He is the one who placed them in my heart. He even knows the secret desires that I am not even aware of. He knows of the ones that I am aware of too. He wants to fill those desires for me.

I also desired to be loved by others. I desire words of encouragement. I desire special quality time with the people that I love. I desire to know that I am loved by my friends and family.

I desire to be intentional. I desire to remember my loved ones birthdays. I desire to know their love languages so that they know that I love them.

And I KNOW in my heart that God will deliver on these desires....

All I have to do is stop, yield and go...

In the meantime... I will look to Jesus to sing Happy Birthday to me! Then everything else will fall into place....

Beth Moore

Here is a great video with an even greater song from the Beth Moore Event. It was amazing!!!

Living Proof Live Tacoma 2011 by David Lowe from Rich Kalonick on Vimeo.

Stop, Yield, Go

I returned from a couple of days at the YouLead Women's Leadership Conference and Beth Moore. It was amazing, overwhelming, encouraging and disheartening all in one. But I came away with these words... Stop, Yield & Go.

Stop - Stop doubting & believe - John 20:24-29

I need to stop doubting that he has called me to lead in ministry. I am to believe that he has called me to lead for such a time as this.

Yield - Yield for the greatest yield - Matthew 13:23

I need to yield to Jesus so that he can produce the greatest yield from my obedience.

GO - Go with God - Exodus 14:10-16

I am to keep going even when others are telling me to stop because God is telling me to GO.

There is so much more but these were some of the major highlights... lots to sort out and to come...

He loves us enough...

to turn water into wine.

This morning I was reading John chapter 2. This is the chapter where Jesus and his mother are at a wedding. His mother tells him that they are out of wine. Jesus responds in asking why she is involving him since his time to reveal who he was had yet not come. Mary responds with telling the servants to do whatever Jesus tells them to do. So he turns 180 gallons of water into wine even though he wasn't planning on revealing who he was yet.

There are two reasons why I love this passage...

1 - Even though he wasn't planning on revealing who he was, he did what his mother requested. Because she asked and believed that he would do it, he did it for her. Obviously he loved his mother very much but he loved her enough to give a glimpse of who he was to others.

2 - The bible also states in verse 11 that it was the "first of the signs through which he revealed his glory". He didn't perform a miraculous healing or cast out a demon as his first miracle. Instead he provided pleasure and fun as his first miracle!

So for one... he cares enough to "change" his mind when we ask. The bible says several times to ask and you will receive. She asked and believed... therefore she received!

And for two... he not only performs healings and miracles... but he wants us to have fun! It isn't just about pain and healing. It's about beauty, love and fun too! That may be turning water into wine or seeing a ginormous heart cloud!

Because he loves us that much!

Teaching how to be a wife...

As a parent my job is to teach my child the rights & wrongs of life. I am responsible for her to have a good education, learn her manners, help her build a relationship with the Lord and more. These are all the givens, the expectations but what about teaching her to be a woman. Or a good wife. Or a good mom.

The other day Emma & I were watching TV. A picture of President Obama boarding Air Force One came on the channel we were watching. Emma saw that and said "I want to be the President so she could have Air Force One. But a moment later she said to me...

"I want to be the President's wife."

I asked "Why?"

She responded "Because then I can plan the parties, have the whole White House AND use Air Force One!"

I thought that was awesome! You see because I don't see it as her just wanting to be the President's wife. I see her as wanting to be the life-giver to the nation! To her husband and family!

When God created Adam he said it wasn't good for man to be alone. So he created Eve. He called her an ezer kenegdo. This word translates into help meet. Eve was also the crescendo! She was the finishing touch to a world that was not complete.

As women we are the ezer kenegdo of the world. We are the ones who bring beauty to the world around us. We bring beauty to our homes, our bodies and our relationships.

As a mom, I want to teach Emma that she can do anything that she puts her mind to. This is one of the reasons why we homeschool. But there is so much more than making sure she is supported in her education so that she can grow up to be what she wants. It is my responsibility to teach her to be a woman. Part of that includes teaching her how to be a good wife.

So how do I do this? When I began to think about this, it was daunting to me to figure out how to do this. Yet as I began to pray about it, God revealed to me that I already am doing this. I do it in the way that I treat Robert. The things that I say to him in the good and bad times. Because our children see so much more than we give them credit for. He revealed to me that I am not alone and I don't need to figure it out. He is the great teacher!

As a daughter of divorced parents this isn't exactly easy. Even before my parents' divorce, their relationship was highly dysfunctional. I have had to learn as I go, making mistakes along the way. Thankfully the Lord has been there with me every step of the way covering it all in grace and love.

He has also blessed me with amazing friends who have strong marriages and who are actively working to make them better. (This is another example of community and why we need each other. Another reason for transparency, love, grace and forgiveness.)

So in the days, months and years to come there will be many more lessons for Emma to learn. I pray that God gives me the wisdom to give her the tools and lessons to be the wife that he wants her to be. I have the assurance that when she leaves our home, he will take her by the hand and guide her just as he has me. Because "he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

Guess who is divorcing...

"Yeah can you believe it? No, they seemed so happy. Everything seemed so good."

These are words that I hope to not say. Not just because I don't want to see people divorce, but because I don't want to have shallow relationships where it catches me off guard.

Peter tells us in to "love one another deeply, from the heart." 1 Peter 1:22. We are created to have intimate relationships with one another. This means realness, transparency and honesty with one another. If we have relationships that are transparent and real then we shouldn't be surprised when someone says they are getting a divorce. We should have noticed signs or heard the warnings.

These types of relationships may not prevent divorces. But if we are encouraging perseverance and lifting one another up in prayer then maybe they may lessen the chances of divorce. Someone to carry us through the tough times, to be devoted to one another in love.

God is the creator of relationships. He loves us to much that he sent Jesus here to heal the brokenhearted, to set the captives free. He desires relationship and closeness with us. He desires to see us healed and free.

Marriage may be hard at times but God is bigger than any problem that could occur in a marriage. He is the ultimate healer and miracle performer. He also brings people into our lives to help us along the road. We just need to be real, transparent and honest with one another. In return they are to love us, encourage us when the road gets tough.