Do you see me?

Emma will be performing in the Nutcracker for the first time. She is full of excitement and nerves as you can imagine. Last night as we were standing it the hall of the theatre after a rehearsal, one of the owners of the dance studio where she takes dance stopped and talked to Emma. She asked her if she was excited and had a brief converstaion with her. I was impressed since Stephanie had been in the theater all night directing so it wasn't like she had a lot of time to stand around and chat.

Anyway, Emma has talked about that experience a few times since then. She told me that she felt special that Stephanie would stop and talk to her even though she doesn't know Emma. She felt worth it.

I've been thinking about that all day. Emma's deepest question is "do you see me? am I worth it?" Stephanie stopping and talking to Emma answered her question in that moment. At that moment, she felt worth it to someone, but not just anyone. This was someone who she viewed as special. After all Stephanie in her eyes is the ultimate ballerina, she owns a dance studio.

How often does that question go answered for us women? Too often? All the time? Has it ever been answered?

It's a question that I still struggle with at times... am I worth it? Why would they want to be my friend? Do they see me?

Here I am at 35 and still asking it. That question never goes away. Otherwise why would women spend billions of dollars a year on anti-aging products, makeup, clothing, hair, etc?

It's also asked at such an early age.... Emma is only 9 yet she's been asking it for many years already. It's the way the asks questions, it's how she tells every stranger we meet about how she's in the Nutcracker, it's why she cares about what she looks like.

But what if that question was never answered last night? What if it was never answered ever? What if the question is answered in a different way?

What if that question was answered only so that that boy got what he wanted? So that the question then never really gets answered since it was an empty answer?

So then how can the question be fully answered in a way that is fulfilling?

There is only one way... and that is by turning to Him. Asking Jesus if he sees me. Does he care? If so I desperately need him to show me...

The amazing thing is that he always does...

So go ahead... ask him....